Thursday, October 8, 2015

Are you excited ?

I have decided that I don't like that question. It's because I always end up answering,"ermm..I'm nervous!"

Seriously, do you expect a NO for that question ? No, I'm not excited to meet my baby. No, I'm not excited that my life is going to change forever.

Of course not ! I want this baby ! I have secretly been wanting a baby even before I got married. So YES I am excited ! I smile when I feel the baby moves inside me. I get super excited when baby decides to respond to our conversation before bed with her by doing somersaults inside. I imagine her in my arms like all the time.

But on top of all the excitement, other feelings come into play. I'm scared for the delivery process. I'm scared that I might not know how to soothe my crying baby. I'm scared for the baby's future. I'm scared that she will turn out a horrible person because I do not know how to be a good mother.

I'm scared of many things. So please excuse me when I reply with an "ermm" when I get asked "Are you excited?"

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